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Down Boys

from Lavatory by Sam Pocker

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This song was released when I was in middle school in New Rochelle, New York.

I went to middle school in New Rochelle for two years and then transferred to a private school in Rye the third year.

The way the system worked in New Rochelle they would combine students from two elementary schools into the middle school, and then as far as I understood it they would combine the two middle schools into the high school. Whether or not this was an intentional way to teach children about learning to cope with a new influx of people I don't know.

In middle school I sat at a table every day with four or five other students who didn't like me and just sort of accepted that I sat at the table. It was in the lunchroom to the left, the table was in the back right corner. I can only remember one of the other students who sat at the table.

Every day I ate nachos. Every single day. I still get nostalgic when I smell processed nacho cheese. I can picture the cardboard container that they came in.

There was a payphone across from the entrance to the "hot food" line of the cafeteria. I can picture the whole layout of how food was distributed, I remember exactly how terrible all of the food was.

After eating my nachos and not looking up much because I didn't want to deal with a barrage of insults I would go to the payphone and call Columbia House on their toll-free number. The operator would read me the catalog. I would tell them I wanted to know what albums they had by a certain artist and they would tell me all the albums, and then it would make me think of another artist and I would ask about those. I'm not sure how with no checking account or credit card (debit cards didn't exist yet) I had somehow gotten a Columbia House account but it was a lifeline.

The only record that I remember purchasing from Columbia House during this horrible period of my adolescence was Talking Heads' "Naked". To this day I still own a copy of the record that Chris and Tina signed for me without understanding at the time why that record may not be their favorite. They are gracious and wonderful people, I owe them a lot.

It was during this period of my life that I really started watching MTV. My mom had forbidden me from watching it and I would go home every day, go to the basement, and just watch TV all night.

Part of the reason that I have such a wide range of musical taste is due to the fact that my mom didn't let me watch MTV. It forced me to listen to the radio and because we were in range of Manhattan stations I was able to hear two stations which were influential in my upbringing. WNEW-FM, of course and WBLS. There were others, but I got my what is now called "classic rock" education from WNEW and my more progressive understanding of music from WBLS. I wish I could tell you the name of the stations but I also listened to a LOT of salsa music late at night. Salsa stations in New York in the 80s were all kinds of magical. I heard a lot of freestyle too. Freestyle music was so exciting to me at the time.

With MTV I discovered two things, the first being "CLUB MTV", an "American Bandstand" style show for the 80's and early 90's. I would say for most of my life my biggest goal was to have been a dancer on "CLUB MTV".

I had dabbled in listening to Top 40 in elementary school. Like so many other people who are music obsessives I would listen to Casey Kasem and write down every song he played. After discovering classic rock that kind of went away but MTV brought me back to it.

Warrant's "Down Boys" was a song that stuck with me from around this time. It's not a great song. I can't explain what it's about. I like the prechorus where the G chord kicks in and the lyric "Can we rewind to where we've been?" sets up the chorus. For years I've enjoyed intentionally singing the wrong words to the chorus as "I want to go where the down boys are going", I don't know why. I kind of imagine someone working in an auto parts shop who has been tortured by this song all day and yet can't grasp the lyrics because they are so mindless.

When I set about working on this project I went back and watched the video. I had imagined it as being very "metal" but was surprised to see choreography that was straight out of a Disneyland parade. I was also surprised to learn how many people still searched for the "Pee Like A Man" t-shirt that the singer was wearing in the video, and that there was an active black market in bootleg versions of this shirt.

Some research showed that the song only made it to #27 on the billboard charts. The followup single from the next album "Cherry Pie" would be considered a stereotype of everything ridiculous in the hair metal genre, and would pretty much be the nail in the coffin of it's popular acceptance in the 80s.

It's a strange piece of ephemera, but it accurately portrays the background music of a very awkward childhood.

credits

from Lavatory, released March 2, 2018
By Joey Cagle, Jerry L Dixon, John Oswald, Steven J Chamberlin, and Eric Benjamin Turner
Copyright Round Hill Music

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Sam Pocker Los Angeles, California

Sam Pocker is an award-winning author, filmmaker, and musician. Pocker’s songwriting catalog covers over 8 albums worth of material, released by his bands The Pretty Colors, The Pregnant Vegans, and The Agoura Hills PTA. His most recent book “Where Do Incorrect Ideas Come From?” was released in January 2020. ... more

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